Sunday, November 18, 2007

Grief - The Persistent Visitor

Grief still comes to visit me quite often.
Too often for my taste.
He steals into my thoughts slyly, cunningly, ruthlessly.
He is an ill-natured, inconsiderate, rude fellow,
Who makes me listen to his harsh reprimands.
He is full of rebukes and gibes.
And he reminds me of my regrets.
I failed to or forgot to do this
Or that, or the other for my lost lover.
Grief is impolite and demanding.
He butts in when and where he isnt wanted.
Always pushing and thrusting his way
Into my daily life that I thought
I had finally smoothed out and settled
Like his mother's crazy quilt on our bed.
He comes when I am just beginning
To take a path toward comfort.
But, no, its not to be.
I must endure another whipping.
Another thrashing, another dose of salts.
"You want solace! Ill give you solace!
It will end when you are done and gone.
It will finish when I say so.
Not before, and not because you wish me gone."
Grief came last night without warning,
Creeping in, settling down, poking me awake.
For what reason I do not know
And tore me apart again
With memories of a past of pain
Of things undone, of acts of unkindness.
"You must never forget," says Grief.
"How can I, with you forever on my back?"
Grief makes me recall.
Makes me wish I were the one gone.
But, then Grief offered me some sympathy.
"Remember, dear friend, he cannot die again."

John (Jack) Rooney is the author of the terrorist thriller "Nine Lives Too Many" featuring his series detective Denny Delaney and the arch-terrorist Felix the Cat. His latest novel is the suspense novel "The Daemon in Our Dreams" which is a blend of the naturalistic and the supernatural. His work schedule includes "The Rice Queen Spy" which is due out in the fall of 2007, a new Denny Delaney effort and a novel about a sea journey from Buenos Aires to Santiago around Cape Horn. He was born and educated in Springfield, Massachusetts (Classical High School and American International College). He wrote book reviews and feature articles for the Springfield newspapers. After receiving his M.A. in Arts and Science from Columbia University, he worked for the Cunard Cruise Lines as a business correspondent at 25 Broadway, went on to serve in the U.S. Army as a military policeman in the Times Square detachment, in civies in AWOL apprehension, and in Vienna, Austria. His still travel articles include humorous travel guide stories. His website is http://www.senneffhouse.com

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15 New Year's and Holiday Resolutions For Parents

Have you made your usual New Year resolutions? You know the resolutions where you turn over a new leaf to get fit, steer away from junk food and start a savings plan. While you are reflecting on past bad habits and setting new directions for your personal life consider taking stock of your parenting as well.

A word of warning -- you will probably feel a little inadequate as you look back on some of your past practices. If you are like most parents you nag your kids too much, over-react when they mess up and you probably regret not spending enough time with them. Dont be too hard on yourself. Not only is parenting the worlds hardest job but children arent born with owners manuals so we tend to rely on trial and error a great deal.

As you ponder the next twelve months of parenthood here are 15 New Years resolutions to consider. Avoid trying to adopt every idea. Be realistic and choose one or two to add to your list of New Years resolutions.

1. Be consistent with your discipline. This is a big ask as dealing with kids misbehaviour tests the patience and resolve of the even the most assured parents. Set consistent limits and boundaries, even for adolescents, and be willing to negotiate and give a little ground. When children refuse to cooperate or break the rules, act calmly and reasonably rather than resort to severe measures to teach them a lesson.

2. Avoid nagging, yelling and constantly reminding children to cooperate. Sometimes it is better to keep quiet than nag or remind children to do their chores, behave or just be reasonable human beings. It is no coincidence that parents who nag frequently complain of deaf children. There is usually nothing wrong with childrens hearing. They simply listen to what they want to hear.

3. Focus on childrens positive behaviours. If you find yourself continually pointing out your childrens misbehaviour and getting nowhere then try to ignore the inappropriate as much as possible. Get into the habit of catching kids being good. Like adults, children respond to favourable comments and are likely to adopt behaviours that gain them attention.

4. Encourage children persistently. It has been estimated that children hear 17 negative comments at home for every piece of praise or encouragement. Exposure to continuous criticism and negative comments can have disastrous effects on childrens self esteem. If you are not an encouraging person then linking your positive comments to something you normally do such as saying good night to your children. Then you will know that you have encouraged them at least once each day. Thats a good start.

5. Spend more time together as a family. In an era of working parents and busy children finding time for everyone to be home together is increasingly difficult. Be specific with this goal or it will end up on the scrap heap of broken resolutions. Aim to have at least one shared mealtime each week or spend one weekend a month devoted purely to family purposes.

6. Give yourself a regular break. Dont be a slave to your family. Taking time out to do something just for yourself is a necessity rather than a luxury. Revise your household routine, solicit the help of your partner or relatives, or employ a baby-sitter to provide you with some time-off.

7. Plan some time to be with your partner. Whether it is a romantic weekend away or just meeting for coffee together once a week make sure you have an opportunity to spend time with your partner - and dont talk about the kids.

8. Make guilt work for you. Lets face it, parents can find plenty of issues to feel guilty about. Leaving children in child-care, long hours spent at work, and even discipline measures are common sources of guilt. Avoid easing your guilt by being too lenient, spoiling or indulging children with toys or other material possessions. Guilt can be beneficial though; if it reminds you to take time off work to attend a childs school play children or prompts you to hire some domestic help to create more family time.

9. Make a plan to survive those difficult times. Only television families are free of manic times of the day. Mealtime mayhem, morning madness and bedtime battles are common in many families. Identify your difficult time of the day and get super organised and be willing to make yourself scarce if children make unnecessary demands on you at these times.

10. Stay out of childrens fights. Brawling siblings disturb the peace so it is difficult for parents not to become involved. Chances are you either plead for peace and quiet, make a ruling to end the dispute, or take sides to lay blame on the child who caused the infraction. If you are tired of interfering in childrens battles then leave it up to them to resolve. When your children begin to bicker beat it to another part of the house or boot them outside until they have finished.

11. Control that television set. If the television is continually on in your house then it is time to establish some tight limits for viewing. Ten hours per week is a reasonable guideline for children of most ages. Have a television-free night and let children sample other forms of entertainment.

12. Check your childrens computer usage. Computers are rapidly replacing the television as the electronic baby-sitter in many families. To be fair, computers have more educational potential than the television but children predominantly use them for games, unless they receive assistance and direction from parents. Pull up a chair and join in rather than leave children to their own devices whenever they hit a computer.

13. Avoid giving into temper tantrums. Do you give in when your toddler throws himself on his back in the supermarket and thrashes about like a crab? Do you throw your hands up in despair if your teenager stomps off to her bedroom slamming the door behind her when she doesnt get her own way? Tantrums are a potent form of emotional blackmail designed to coerce parents to give in to childrens demands. Next time your child throws a major wobbly remove yourself and refuse to give in to such tactics.

14. Avoid the good parent syndrome. Good parents protect children from many of lifes difficulties and rob them of opportunities to develop independence and responsibility. They take forgotten lunches to school, pay fines for their childrens overdue library books and believe that chores are for parents rather than children. If this sounds familiar let children take more responsibility for their own actions in the coming year.

15. Keep misbehaviour in perspective. You probably think at times that your children or teenagers are the worlds worst or that no one else acts up like them. Think again. If your child misbehaves the chances are that he or she is no trailblazer. Many others mess up too. That is little comfort, however, if you have to put up with difficult kids day in and day out. Regardless of how hard things become try to focus on their positive behaviours and work hard to maintain your relationship even if it appears that the effort is all one way. Your persistence will pay off in the long run.

For more great ideas from Michael Grose to help you raise confident kids and resilient young people subscribe to Happy Kids, his fortnightly email newsletter. Just visit www.parentingideas.com.au and subscribe. Receive a free report on Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry in your email box when you subscribe

---

Michael Grose www.parentingideas.com.au

Michael Grose - helping you raise confident kids and resilient teenagers

Australia's most popular parenting educator. The author of six books and presenter of over 100 presentations every year

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LG Shine - The 'Style' Factor

LG KE970 or popularly known as LG Shine is here to grab your attention with its sleek design and slider mechanism. Packed with compact features, the handset delivers high quality performance. Its shiny appearance with stunning design is sure enough to turn heads around you.LG Shine incorporates a high definition music player that provides you with superb quality audio sound. It supports all popular music formats including MP3 format. Download latest soundtracks from the net and make them your ringtones. The integrated 2.2 inch colour screen of the LG Shine is wide and clear enough to enjoy exciting gaming consoles including Java games. Messaging is simpler and much easier with the LG Shine. With SMS, EMS, MMS and email options, you can edit, store, send and receive media files with ease.

Carry your camera phone with you wherever you go. With LG Shine, you can't afford to miss a single chance to capture your special moments. Click your pictures with its 2 mega pixel camera. It also features Auto focus, flash and 2x digital for better still and video images. The handset houses 1GB in-built memory space which easily accommodates all your photos and video clips. Now you can take as many photos and videos as you want, and make your own photo gallery and video album in your device. For easy transfer of your files to other compatible devices, LG Shine offers you high speed wireless connectivity via Bluetooth, GPRS and USB.

Enjoy mobile Internet experience on your device by accessing WAP browser. Stay connected to your friends from anywhere in the globe. Net accessibility on your mobile device enables you to get fast download of entertaining factors including videos, songs, games, ringtones and amazing collection of images.For those fashion conscious lots, LG Shine is the perfect handset blending style with technology. Get one for yourself today and be a trend-setter.

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Dorothy Dunn and 'Primitive' Art

The artist's of tribes of the Great Plains left their paper trail for centuries on rocks, cave walls, and buffalo robes and other animal skins. After contact with the white man the Native American artists began to use paper from the ledger books that traders used for record keeping, thus the term "ledger art".

The drawings were characteristic of the style that had persisted for centuries and culminated with the end of the proto-modern era of the Native American art movement.

It was at the end of this era and the beginning of the Modernistic era of the movement that Dorothy Dunn was teaching at the Santa Fe school. During her tenure she encouraged her students to continue the traditions of their predecessors in the "flat", or "primitive" art style. Here one can cite Dunn's unique concept of primitive", and even more so her concept of "primitive art".

Anthropologists use the term "primitive" as a general category to describe cultures which had not achieved a certain standard (define modernity). For Dunn, a primitive was not a certain type of culture, but described individuals and objects indigenous to any, every, culture. The primitive subject was that gifted individual, or "seer" whom was able to discern the primitive objects relevant to their culture. These objects were also "primitives", and represented the signs, icons, or symbols of a culture. Thus, for Dunn, "primitive art" was the one to one relationship between the seer and the perceived set of primitive objects of their culture. Primitive was not a certain type of culture, but a certain set of variables occurring in every culture, and primitive art was an event that portrayed the values, or what was of importance in that culture. Thus, Dunn encouraged her students to carry on the tradition into the Modernist era.

Dorothy Dunns concept of primitive art yields a definition that adequately depicts the problems and ambiguities in the usage of the term primitive. She agrees with Boas observation that in the broadest sense, every age has its primitives, its own interpreters and seers, and the assignment of the term primitive to these individuals is relative to the point of view based upon the knowledge of the observer. At the same time, she also cites Ralph Linton who denounces the commonly accepted connotation of the term primitive as assigning all primitives to the childhood of art, but she seems to differ essentially from Lintons assertion that the primitive in primitive art is a relative term. Relational perhaps, but relative only in the sense that each culture defines its primitives according to its own set of values. The relational aspect is that primitive art occurs in every culture as an event between the seers, and that set of symbols, signs or designs which are iconic to that particular culture as its own set of primitives. The relationship is complex and is manifest in every society. This relationship defines the absolute in primitive art. She summarizes this position in the statement that Primitive is a relational term, conditioned by time and place, yet maintaining constant universal elements pertaining to frontiers.

Dunn notes that Indian painting is the first art in history to have sprung, full-fledged, from the primitive into the contemporary world at a time when it was peculiarly compatible with both. Although it has won recognition as modern art, a consideration of some facts and assumptions in regard to primitive art may evaluate certain qualities of modern Indian painting which place it in a position of being old and new, primitive and contemporary. The reference to an absolute in primitive art is evident here, even though for the sake of communication she has to stumble over the common usage of the term primitive which she is trying to minimize.

In this regard Dunn states that the term primitive art calls for qualification. The qualification that Dunn employs is one that synthesizes the contrast between a diachronic and synchronic perspective of the term. In her usage of such terms as time and place and frontiers in contrasting the relative and universal aspects of primitive art she is indeed searching for a definition that would satisfy Fabians demand for allochronic determinations. If one were to isolate all instances of time and place diachronically (in linear, historical or temporal sequence) and apply them laterally, across cultural lines and the boundaries of possible worlds synchronically, and then abstract an intensive, characteristic notion of primitive as a universal concept, then one could have a definition that could be used comparatively at any given time and place, i.e. satisfying Fabian's demand for coevalence in discourse, and overcome any ethnocentricity a contemporary culture may have in its assessments and analysis of an object culture under study which lies at its frontier and depicts a different time and place.

The need for such qualification is summarized by Dunn in stating that Anthropologists question certain implications of the expression (primitive art) where a consideration of tolerance in the matter of other civilizations and our own may be comparatively based upon technical and material advancements, but overlook the fact that the lack of such advancements might allow major emphasis upon esthetic and spiritual value. Here Dunn is to a degree once again segregating the primitive in a unique aspect, as she does in stating that In primitive society symbolism is a special system through which ideas as images can be conveyed understandably to an individual or group, but her underlying supposition is that in every culture in every age society has its primitives; seers or interpreters who are the gifted individuals that discern and depict this special system of symbols. It is an event, a one to one relationship between the subject as a primitive interpreting the primitive as objectivity, and the event is a primal act.

In this Dunn has designated the interpreter within a culture as one who objectively identifies those elements that are the marks of that culture, and that the act is universal. While every society has its system of symbols, and certain images may be shared by diverse cultures, the same image may have different meanings cross-culturally or even have multi-references within a culture (The Zuni is a prime example). Every culture will iconize the sun and the moon, contrast the night with the day. The triangle has a range of meanings distinct in cultures as close as the Hopi and the Arapaho, or as diverse as its interpretation by the Western economist (The Greek letter Delta, signifying change). Yet, the act of the interpreter translating their cultures symbols into a communicable form is the absolute, universal, primitive act.

In this sense of the term primitive one is no longer referring to a category, or a term of allochronic discourse denoting temporal distance. It is not a qualifier for an object or culture, but is the object, subject, or act itself. Its sense is the act of the interpretation of symbols establishing a basis for and expediting the conveyance of intersubjective knowledge. Whether it is the interpreter within a culture translating a sign and conveying meaning to another interpreter within the culture, or an interpreter considering the system of symbols as an object language, the notion is that one is not dealing with a thing qualifiable as a primitive, but is identifying the primitive itself, and is what the logicians like to refer to as cross-identifications, or identifications of individuals across the boundaries of possible worlds, resulting in well-defined individuations or the objectivity of individuating functions.

This appears on its face to be actually quite useless. First, there is a set of objects within a culture the meaning of which is peculiar to that culture, and that particularity renders it non-informative for cross-identification with a set of particulars in another culture. The primitive act, conversely, is defined in such broad terms that it appears as nothing more than an abstraction that could not possibly produce any meaningful information. On a positive note, this sense of primitive has eliminated the temporal distancing with is denoted when used as a term of allochronic discourse, seemingly satisfying Fabians demand for allochronic determinations (coevalance). Execution is problematic however, as the paradox of anthropological discourse displays itself when the term primitive is used, as Dunn often does, in the sense of temporal distancing in order to minimize or eliminate that very connotation.

By example, take another term of allochronic discourse that conveys temporal distancing. That term is savage, or savagery. Frank Hamilton Cushing used the term numerous times during his tenure as a participant observer at the Zuni Pueblo from 1879-1884 when reporting to his colleagues and superiors, and in various publications. In our own time he has been criticized for this as wrong-headed and wrong-hearted. I hesitate to call these remarks wrong-headed or wrong-hearted, but in the very least they are incorrect, and any ethnologist/anthropologist worth their weight in salt should realize this. To summarize Fabian: Anthropological discourse about the primitive or the savage is not about people in the real world, at least not directly. First and immediately, it is about the primitive or the savage as an internal referent of a discourse or as a scientifically constituted object of a discipline. One must not confuse the logical content of a scientific language and the real world. That is, while temporal distancing creates its object for the anthropologist the synchronic of discourse projects its referent atemporally. In other words, Cushing was a scientist of the Victorian era using the scientific language of his time in order to communicate effectively with his colleagues, superiors, and general media audience. Communicative competence and valuing sociality guarantees its rationality and objectivity. As long as anthropological discourse does not confuse its own logical content with the real world then rationality is not violated by deviant utterances and the normative content of the discipline is maintained, thereby attaining rationality and objectivity through conformity.

The terms primitive and savage do pose differences, however, and is likely the reason, though not a justification for, the criticisms posed against Cushing for the use of the term. As Fabian points out in regard to the term savage, no amount of nominalist technicality can purge the term of its moral, aesthetic, and political connotations. It cannot be reduced to universal data.

Primitive, on the other hand, is quite conducive to universalization. As Dunn notes, in an Indian society, there are no artists. As a medium for expression anyone may be a creative participant in some capacity, and as such the groundwork for an inclusive base for interpretation of a communicable set of symbols is laid, providing an ontological basis of rationality. That is, the former abstract concept of primitive art as a primitive act has been provided with content. This should, to a reasonable degree, satisfy the ontologist and anthropologist alike. In the ontological sense rationality is viewed as perspective- taking and does not require objectivity. Objectivity requires agreement, or intersubjective validation through public reciprocal intentions, where the objectivity of claims is tied to their communicability. Objectivity becomes a personal accomplishment (Willard) and belongs to the anthropological sense of rationality as a social fact where forms of communication are used to express approval of someones actions (aesthetic appreciation).

Quoting Alice Corbin Henderson, Dunn states that in an Indian society, art is possessed in common and totally lacking in individualistic concept. Thus, objectivity is enjoined with intentionality as personal accomplishment without a reference to the individual. This would satisfy a pedagogic sense of rationality in that in an Indian society the surest way to make a prayer effective is to symbolize the matter prayed for (Bandelier). If the prayer (the art of rhetoric) was effective, then it was handed down from generation to generation and its success justified its rationality.

Dunn contrasts Indian art and contemporary art in distinguishing modern society where the title of the artist may well be deserved with the capacity to impress representatively, whereas to artists of primitive societies painting does not seek primarily to portray a subject in a given place and time in a more or less representationalist manner, but rather to stress the fundamental qualities of the object or power. It is concerned with the inner functions and meanings rather than the superficial appearance of nature, and it sets forth the essential aspects of a subjectthe primitive artist gives right-of-way to the basic elements in his interpretation. Dunn then cites Linton who observed that the insistence upon accurate naturalistic representation seems childish to the primitive artist who, although he admires technical skill, feels that it is being expended for trivial ends in an amplification of the obvious.

Two worlds, side by side. The Indian artist may say of the contemporary artist that they are in forgetfulness of their origins, and the contemporary artist may refer to a child like quality of the Indians painting. Nonetheless, to Dorothy Dunn they are both primitive art, or better said, a primitive act, and both have their reason for being. Each aspect which characterizes Indian painting as a primitive art has its own reason for being. Likewise, certain of these same features qualify Indian painting as modern. This seeming paradox may well be in the fact that international painting, for reasons of its own, increasingly evolves forms and styles, even concepts, not unlike those long and deeply developed by Indian artists.

And so it was that Dorothy Dunn followed her inclinations towards the primitive and encouraged her students at the Santa Fe school to preserve the authenticity of their heritage through long established modes of interpreting the primitives.

REFERENCES:

Dunn, Dorothy. American Indian Painting of the Southwest and PlainsArea. Albuquerque: University of New Mexico, 1968.

Fabian, Johannes. Time and the Other: How Anthropology Makes Its Object. NY: Columbia University Press, 1983.

Hintikka, Jaakko. The Semantics of Modal Notions and the Indeterminacy of Ontology. Synthese. 21: 408-424, 1970.

Willard, Charles. A Theory of Argumentation. Tuscaloosa and London: University of Alabama Press, 1989.

Chet Staley
Copyright 2005
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